091.asc

// 16409
//== Roles, Pt 2

// 16410
//__A/N: This chapter does not contain a spoiler for any particular Orson
//Scott Card novel. It’s a metaphor.__

// 16411
//Shortly after, there was another knock upon the storeroom door.

// 16412
//“If you actually care about my mental health,” the boy said without looking up,
//“you will go away, leave me alone, and wait for me to come down to dinner. This
//isn’t helping.”

// 16413
//The door opened, and the one who had waited outside stepped in.

// 16414
//“Seriously?” the boy said flatly.

// 16415
//The door closed and clicked behind Severus Snape.

// 16416
//The Potions Master of Hogwarts wore none of his customary arrogance, or even
//the dispassionate guise that he ordinarily took in the Headmaster’s office; his
//gaze was strange, as he looked down upon the boy guarding that door; his
//thoughts unfathomable.

// 16417
//“I also cannot imagine what the Deputy Headmistress is thinking,” said the
//Potions Master of Hogwarts. “Unless I am meant to serve as a warning of where
//it will lead you, if you decide to take the blame for her death upon yourself.”

// 16418
//The boy’s lips pressed together. “Fine. Let’s just skip ahead to the end of
//this conversation. You win, Professor Snape. I concede that you were more
//responsible for Lily Potter’s death than I was responsible for Hermione
//Granger’s death, and that my guilt can’t stack up to your guilt. And then I ask
//you to go, and you tell them that it would probably be best to let me alone for
//a while. Are we done?”

// 16419
//“Almost,” the Potions Master said. “I am the one who put the notes under Miss
//Granger’s pillow, telling her where to find the fights in which she
//intervened.”

// 16420
//The boy did not react to this at all. Finally he spoke. “Because you dislike
//bullying.”

// 16421
//“Not that alone.” There was a note of pain in the Potions Master’s voice that
//sounded alien to it; it was hard to imagine it being the same acid voice that
//instructed children not to stir one more time or they’d blow off their wrists.
//“I should have realized it… very much earlier, I suppose, and yet I did not see
//it at all, being entirely absorbed in myself. For me to be placed as Head of
//Slytherin… it means that Albus Dumbledore has entirely lost hope that Slytherin
//House can be helped. I am certain that Dumbledore must have tried, I cannot
//imagine that he did not try, when he first took trust of Hogwarts. It must have
//been a severe blow to him, when after that so much of Slytherin answered to the
//Dark Lord’s call… he would not have placed me in authority over that House,
//acting as I did, unless he had lost all hope.” The Potions Master’s shoulders
//fell, beneath his spotted and stained cloak. “But you and Miss Granger were
//trying to do something, and the two of you had even managed to bring over Mr.
//Malfoy and Miss Greengrass, and perhaps those two could have set a different
//example… I suppose it was foolish for me to believe. The Headmaster does not
//know of what I have done, and I ask you not to tell him.”

// 16422
//“Why are you telling me this?”

// 16423
//“Matters have become far too serious not to tell someone.” Severus Snape’s lips
//twisted. “I have seen enough disastrous plotting, in my tenure as Head of
//Slytherin, to know how that sometimes goes. If, in the future, all should come
//to light - then at least I have told you, and you may say as much.”

// 16424
//“Lovely,” the boy said. “Thank you for clearing that up. Is that all?”

// 16425
//“Do you intend to declare that your life is now a ruin and that there is
//nothing left for you but vengeance?”

// 16426
//“No. I still have -” The boy cut himself off.

// 16427
//“Then there is very little advice that I can give you,” said Severus Snape.

// 16428
//The boy nodded distantly. “On Hermione’s behalf, thank you for helping her with
//the bullies. She would tell you that it was the right thing to do. And now I
//would be much obliged if you could tell them to __leave me alone__.”

// 16429
//The Potions Master turned to the door, and when his face was unseen, his voice
//came in a whisper. “I truly am sorry for your loss.”

// 16430
//Severus Snape departed.

// 16431
//The boy stared after him, trying to remember, as best as he could at this
//distance, words which had been spoken some time earlier.

// 16432
//__Your books betrayed you, Potter. They did not tell you the one thing
//you needed to know. You cannot learn from books what it is like to lose the one
//you love. That is something you could never know without experiencing it for
//yourself.__

// 16433
//It had gone something like that, the boy thought, if he was remembering
//correctly.

// 16434
//Hours had passed now, in the infirmary section with its closed door and a body
//lying in state behind it.

// 16435
//Harry went on staring at his wand, as it lay in his lap. At the tiny scratches
//and smudges on the eleven inches of holly, flaws he’d never looked closely
//enough to notice before. A quick mental calculation said there was no reason to
//worry since if this was six or seven months’ accumulation of damage, then a
//standard lifetime wouldn’t wear away the wand entirely. At the time, he
//probably would’ve worried about his own Time-Turner being taken away if he’d
//just openly yelled out ‘Does anyone have a Time-Turner?’ into the Great Hall,
//but it would have been easy enough to precommit to, after lunch, finding
//someone to send Professor Flitwick a message two hours earlier and then
//Professor Flitwick could’ve just gone straight to Hermione, or sent her his
//raven Patronus, long before the troll was anywhere near her. Or might that
//alternate Harry have already learned it was too late - heard about Hermione’s
//death after lunch and before he could buy any messages sent backwards in time?
//Maybe a basic guideline of working with time-travel was to make sure you never
//risked learning you were too late, if you hadn’t yet gone backwards. There was
//a tiny chemical burn now on the end of his wand, presumably from contacting the
//acid he’d partially Transfigured the troll’s brain into, but the wand seemed
//robust against losses of small amounts of wood. Really the concept of a ‘magic
//wand’ being required just got stranger the more you thought about it. Though if
//spells were always being invented in some mysterious way, new rituals being
//carved as new levers upon the unknown machine, it might just be that people
//just kept inventing rituals that involved wands, just like they invented
//phrases like ‘Wingardium Leviosa’. It really seemed like magic ought to be, in
//some sense, almost arbitrarily powerful, and it certainly would be convenient
//if Harry could just bypass whatever conceptual limitation prevented people from
//inventing spells like ‘Just Fix Everything Forever’, but somehow nothing was
//ever that easy where magic was concerned. Harry looked at his mechanical watch
//again, but it still wasn’t time.

// 16436
//He’d attempted to cast the Patronus Charm, meaning to tell his Patronus to go
//to Hermione Granger. Just in case it was all a lie, a False Memory Charm or one
//of the who-knew-how-many-ways that wizards could be made to close their eyes
//and dream. Just in case the real Hermione was alive and being held somewhere,
//despite his feeling her life as it left her. Just in case there was an
//afterlife and the True Patronus could reach it.

// 16437
//The spell hadn’t worked though, so that particular test had failed to provide
//any evidence, leaving him with the previous, unfavorable prior.

// 16438
//Time passed, and yet more time. From the outside you would’ve just seen a boy,
//sitting, staring at his wand with an abstracted gaze, looking at his watch
//every two minutes or so.

// 16439
//The door to the infirmary section opened once __again__.

// 16440
//The boy sitting there looked up with a deadly, chilling glare.

// 16441
//Then the boy’s face cracked in dismay, and he scrambled to his feet.

// 16442
//“Harry,” said the man in the button-down formal shirt and a black vest thrown
//over it. His voice was hoarse. “Harry, what’s happening? The Headmaster of your
//school - he showed up in those ridiculous robes at my office and told me that
//Hermione Granger was dead!”

// 16443
//A moment later a woman followed the man into the room; she seemed less confused
//than the man, less bewildered and more frightened.

// 16444
//“Dad,” the boy said thinly. “Mum. Yes, she’s dead. They didn’t tell you
//anything else?”

// 16445
//“No! Harry, what’s happening?”

// 16446
//There was a pause.

// 16447
//The boy slumped back against the wall. “I c-can’t, I can’t, I can’t do this.”

// 16448
//“What?”

// 16449
//“I can’t pretend to be a little boy, I j-just don’t have the energy right now.”

// 16450
//“Harry,” the woman said falteringly. “Harry -”

// 16451
//“Dad, you know those fantasy books where the hero has to hide everything from
//his parents because they, they wouldn’t understand, they’d react stupidly and
//get in the hero’s way? It’s a plot device, right, so that the hero has to solve
//everything himself instead of telling his parents. P-please don’t be that plot
//device, Dad, or you either, Mum. Just… just don’t play that role. Don’t be the
//parents who won’t understand. D-don’t yell at me and give me parental demands I
//can’t follow. Because I’ve wandered into a bloody stupid fantasy novel and now
//Hermione’s - I j-just don’t have the energy to deal with it.”

// 16452
//Slowly, as though his limbs were only half-animated, the man in the black vest
//kneeled down to where Harry was standing, so that his eyes were level with his
//son’s. “Harry,” the man said. “I need you to tell me everything that has
//happened, right now.”

// 16453
//The boy took a deep breath, swallowed. “They t-tell me the Dark Lord I defeated
//may still be alive. Like that’s not the p-plot of a hundred sodding books,
//right? So, it could also be that the Headmaster of my school, who’s the most
//powerful wizard in the world, has gone insane. And, and Hermione was framed for
//an attempted murder just before this, not that anyone would’ve told her parents
//about it or anything. The student she was framed for attempted-murdering was
//the son of Lucius Malfoy, who’s the most powerful politician in magical
//Britain, and used to be the Dark Lord’s number two. The Defense Professor
//position at this school has a curse on it, nobody ever lasts more than a year,
//they have a saying that the Defense Professor is always a suspect. This year
//the Defense Professor is secretly a mysterious wizard who opposed the Dark Lord
//during the last war and may or may not be evil himself. Also the Potions Master
//has been pining after Lily Potter for years and might be behind this whole
//thing for some twisted psychological reason.” The boy’s lips pressed together
//bitterly. “I think that’s most of the bloody stupid plot.”

// 16454
//The man, who had listened to all this quietly, stood up. He put a gentle hand
//on the boy’s shoulder. “That’s enough, Harry,” he said. “I’ve heard enough.
//We’re leaving this school right now and taking you with us.”

// 16455
//The woman was looking at the boy, her face asking a question.

// 16456
//The boy gazed back at her and nodded.

// 16457
//The woman’s voice was thin when she spoke. “__They__ won’t let us,
//Michael.”

// 16458
//“They have no legal right to stop us -”

// 16459
//“__Right?__ You’re __Muggles,__” said the boy. He smiled twistedly.
//“You have as much standing in the magical British legal system as mice. No
//wizard is going to care about any arguments you make about __rights,__
//about __fairness__, they won’t even take the time to listen. You don’t
//have any __power,__ see, so they don’t have to bother. No, Mum, I’m not
//smiling like this because I agree with their Muggle policies, I’m smiling
//because I disagree with your children policies.”

// 16460
//“Then,” Professor Michael Verres-Evans said firmly, “we shall see what the
//__real__ government has to say about that. I know an MP or three -”

// 16461
//“They’ll say, you’re crazy, have a nice stay in this asylum. That’s assuming
//the Ministry Obliviators don’t get to you first and erase your memories. They
//do that to Muggles a lot, I hear. I figure the real higher-ups in our
//government have formed some cozy accomodations of their own. Maybe they get a
//few healing Charms now and then, if someone important manages to get cancer.”
//The boy gave that twisted smile again. “And that’s the situation, Dad, as Mum
//already knows. They’d never have brought you here or told you anything, if
//there was a single thing you could do about it.”

// 16462
//The man’s mouth opened but no words came out, as though he had been reading
//from a script which described what a concerned parent ought to do in this sort
//of situation, and this script had suddenly arrived at a blank spot.

// 16463
//“Harry,” the woman said falteringly.

// 16464
//The boy looked at her.

// 16465
//“Harry, did something happen to you? You seem… different…”

// 16466
//“Petunia!” the man said, his tongue apparently working once more. “Don’t say
//such things! He’s under stress, that’s all.”

// 16467
//“Well, Mum, you see -” The boy’s voice cracked. “Are you sure you want this all
//at once, Mum?”

// 16468
//The woman nodded, though she didn’t speak.

// 16469
//“I’ve got… you know how that school psychiatrist thought I had anger management
//problems? Well -” The boy stopped, and swallowed. “I don’t know how to explain
//this to you, Mum. It’s something magical instead. Probably something to do with
//whatever happened on the night my parents died. I have… well, I was calling it
//a mysterious dark side and I know it sounds like a joke and I __did__
//check with… with an ancient telepathic magical hat to make sure my scar wasn’t
//__actually__ inhabited by the Dark Lord’s spirit and it said that there
//was only one person under its brim and I don’t think wizards have actual souls
//anyway since they can still suffer from brain damage, only -”

// 16470
//“Harry, slow down!” said the man.

// 16471
//“- only, only whatever it is, it’s still __real,__ there’s something
//inside me, it gave me willpower when things were bad, I could face down
//anything so long as I was angry, Snape, Dumbledore, the entire Wizengamot, my
//dark side wasn’t afraid of anything but Dementors. And I wasn’t stupid, I knew
//that there might be a price for using my dark side and I kept on looking to see
//what the price might be. It didn’t change my magic, it didn’t seem to cause
//permanent alignment shift, it didn’t try to take me away from my friends or
//anything like that, so I kept on using it whenever I had to and I only figured
//out too late what the price really was -” The boy’s voice had become almost a
//whisper. “I only figured out today… every time I call on it… it uses up my
//childhood. I killed the thing that got Hermione. And it wasn’t my dark side
//that did it, it was me. Oh, Mum, Dad, I’m sorry.”

// 16472
//There was a long silence filled with the sound of broken masks.

// 16473
//“Harry,” the man said, kneeling down again, “I need you to start over from the
//beginning and explain that much more slowly.”

// 16474
//The boy spoke.

// 16475
//The parents listened.

// 16476
//Some time later, the father stood up.

// 16477
//The boy looked up at him, grimacing in bitter anticipation.

// 16478
//“Harry,” the man said, “Petunia and I are going to get you out of here as
//quickly as possible -”

// 16479
//“Don’t,” the boy said warningly. “I mean it, Dad. The Ministry of Magic isn’t
//something you can stand up to. Pretend they’re the tax office or the dean or
//something else that won’t brook any challenge to their dominance. In magical
//Britain you’re only allowed to remember what the government thinks you should
//remember, and remembering the existence of magic or that you have a son named
//Harry is a privilege, not a right. And if they did that I’d crack and turn the
//Ministry into a giant flaming crater. Mum, you know the score, you absolutely
//have to stop Dad from trying anything stupid.”

// 16480
//“And son -” The man rubbed at his temples. “Maybe I shouldn’t say this now… but
//are you sure that what you’re talking about is really a magical dark side, and
//not something normal for a boy your age?”

// 16481
//“Normal,” the boy said with elaborate patience. “Normal how, exactly? I could
//check again, but I’m reasonably sure there wasn’t anything about this in
//__Childcraft: A Guide For Parents.__ My dark side isn’t just an emotional
//state, it __makes me smarter.__ In some ways, anyhow. You can’t just
//__pretend__ yourself smarter.”

// 16482
//The man rubbed at his head again. “Well… there’s a certain well-known
//phenomenon wherein children undergo a biological process which can sometimes
//make them angry and dark and grim, and this process also significantly
//increases their intelligence and their height -”

// 16483
//The boy slumped back against the wall. “No, Dad, it’s not that I’m turning into
//a teenager. I checked with my brain and it still thinks that girls are icky.
//But if that’s what you want to pretend, then fine. Maybe I’m better off with
//you not believing me. I just -” The boy’s voice choked. “I just couldn’t stand
//lying about it.”

// 16484
//“Adolescence doesn’t necessarily work like that, Harry. It may still take a
//while for you to notice girls. If, in fact, you haven’t noticed one alrea-” and
//the man abruptly stopped.

// 16485
//“I didn’t like Hermione in that way,” the boy whispered. “Why does everyone
//keep thinking it has to be about that? It’s disrespectful to her, to think
//someone could only like her in that way.”

// 16486
//The man swallowed visibly. “Anyway, son, you keep yourself safe while we work
//on getting you out of here, is that understood? Don’t you go actually thinking
//that you’ve turned to the dark side. I know you’ve had, ah, what I used to call
//your Ender Wiggin moments -”

// 16487
//“I think we are now __well__ past Ender and on to Ender after the buggers
//kill Valentine.”

// 16488
//“Language!” said the woman, and then her hand flew to cover her mouth.

// 16489
//The boy spoke wearily. “Not that kind of bugger, Mum. They’re insectoid aliens
//- never mind.”

// 16490
//“Harry, that’s exactly what I’m saying you shouldn’t think,” Professor
//Verres-Evans said firmly. “You’re not to go believing that you’re turning evil.
//You are not to hurt anyone, place yourself in harm’s way, or mess around with
//any sort of black magic whatsoever, while your Mum and I work on extracting you
//from this situation. Is that clear, son?”

// 16491
//The boy closed his eyes. “That’d be wonderful advice, Dad, if only I were in a
//comic book.”

// 16492
//“__Harry -__” the man began.

// 16493
//“Police can’t do that. Soldiers can’t do that. The most powerful wizard in the
//world couldn’t do that, and he tried. It’s not fair to the innocent bystanders
//to play at being Batman if you can’t actually protect everyone under that code.
//And I’ve just proven that I can’t.”

// 16494
//Beads of sweat were glistening on Professor Michael Verres-Evans’s forehead.
//“Now you listen to me. No matter what you’ve read in books, you aren’t
//__supposed__ to be protecting anyone! Or involving yourself in anything
//dangerous! Absolutely anything dangerous whatsoever! Just stay out of the way
//of __everything,__ every bit of craziness going on in this madhouse, while
//we get you out of here the first instant we possibly can!”

// 16495
//The boy looked searchingly at his father, then his mother. Then he looked at
//his wristwatch again.

// 16496
//“Excellent point,” said the boy.

// 16497
//The boy marched over to the door leading outward, and flung it open.

// 16498
//The door flew open with a crack that caused Minerva to startle where she stood,
//and before she had time to think, Harry Potter marched out of the room, glaring
//directly at her.

// 16499
//“You brought my parents __here__,” the Boy-Who-Lived said. “To
//__Hogwarts.__ Where You-Know-Who or __someone__ is lurking around,
//targeting my friends. What exactly were you thinking?”

// 16500
//She did not reply that she had been thinking about Harry sitting in front of
//the door to the storeroom containing Hermione’s body, refusing to move.

// 16501
//“Who else knows about this?” Harry Potter demanded. “Did anyone see them with
//you?”

// 16502
//“The Headmaster brought them here -”

// 16503
//“I want them out of here __immediately__ before anyone else notices,
//especially You-Know-Who, but also including Professor Quirrell or Professor
//Snape. Please send your Patronus to the Headmaster and tell him that he needs
//to bring it back at once. Do not mention my parents by name, or as people, in
//case somebody else is listening.”

// 16504
//“Indeed,” said Professor Verres-Evans, nodding sternly along with this from
//where he stood directly behind the boy, Petunia a step behind him. His hand
//rested firmly on Harry’s shoulder. “We’ll finish talking to our son at home.”

// 16505
//“A moment, please,” Minerva said in reflexive politeness. Her first try at
//casting the Patronus failed, a disadvantage of that Charm under certain
//circumstances. It wasn’t the first time she’d done it so, but she seemed to
//have lost some of the knack -

// 16506
//Minerva shut the thought down and concentrated.

// 16507
//When the message was sent, she turned back to Professor Verres-Evans. “Sir,”
//she said, “I’m afraid that Mr. Potter must not leave the Hogwarts School -”

// 16508
//By the time Albus finally arrived, there was shouting, the Muggle man having
//given up on dignity. At least there was shouting on one side of the argument.
//Minerva’s heart wasn’t in it. The truth was that she couldn’t believe the words
//coming out of her mouth.

// 16509
//When the Professor turned to argue with the Headmaster, Harry Potter, who had
//remained silent through this, spoke up. “Not here,” said Harry. “You can argue
//with him anywhere but Hogwarts, Dad. Mum, please, please make sure that Dad
//doesn’t try anything that will get him in trouble with the Ministry.”

// 16510
//Michael Verres-Evans’s face screwed up. He turned, looked at Harry Potter. When
//his voice came out it was hoarse, accompanied by water in his eyes. “Son - what
//are you doing?”

// 16511
//“You know perfectly well what I’m doing,” Harry Potter said. “You read those
//comic books long before you gave them to me. I’ve been through a bunch of crap,
//matured a bit, and now I’m protecting my relatives. Actually, it’s simpler than
//that, you know what I’m doing because you tried to do the same thing. I’m
//having my loved ones taken out of Hogwarts immediately, that’s what I’m doing.
//Headmaster, please get them out of here before You-Know-Who discovers their
//presence and marks them for death.”

// 16512
//Michael Verres-Evans began a frantic dash toward Harry, and then all motion
//stopped with the Muggle man leaning forward in his flight.

// 16513
//“I am sorry,” the Headmaster said quietly. “We shall speak more soon. Minerva,
//I was with the others when you called, they are waiting in your office.”

// 16514
//The Headmaster passed forwards like he was gliding, until he stood in the midst
//of where the man and woman stood frozen; and there was another flash of flame.

// 16515
//Motion resumed.

// 16516
//Minerva looked at Harry.

// 16517
//Words did not come to her.

// 16518
//“Clever move, bringing them here,” Harry Potter said. “Probably damaged our
//relationship permanently. All I wanted was to be bloody left alone until bloody
//dinnertime. Which,” the boy looked at his wristwatch, “it now is
//__anyway__. I’m going to go say goodbye to Hermione by myself, which I
//promise will take less than two minutes, and then after that I’ll come out and
//go eat something like I would have done regardless. Do __not __disturb me
//for those two bloody minutes or I will snap and try to kill someone, I mean it,
//Professor.”

// 16519
//The boy turned and strode into the small room, opened the rear door to where
//Hermione Granger’s body was being kept, and strode inside before she could
//think to speak. Through the doorway she saw a flash of a sight she knew no
//child ought to see -

// 16520
//The door slammed shut.

// 16521
//She started forwards, unthinking.

// 16522
//Halfway to the door, she stopped herself.

// 16523
//Her mind was still slow, and hurting, and the part of her that Harry Potter
//would have called __the picture of a stern disciplinarian__ was lifelessly
//mouthing words about inappropriate behavior from children. The rest of her
//didn’t think it was a good idea to leave any child, even Harry Potter, alone in
//a room with the bloody corpse of his best friend. But the act of opening the
//door, or asserting any sort of authority, did not seem to her wise. There was
//no right thing to do, and no right thing to say; or if there was any right
//path, she did not know it.

// 16524
//Very slowly, a minute and a half passed.

// 16525
//When the door opened again, Harry seemed to have changed, as though that minute
//and a half had passed over the course of lifetimes.

// 16526
//“Seal up the room,” Harry said quietly, “and let’s go, Professor McGonagall.”

// 16527
//She walked over to the storeroom door. She wasn’t quite able to stop herself
//from looking in, and saw the dried blood, the sheet covering the lower half,
//the upper body waxy and doll-like, and a glimpse of Hermione Granger’s closed
//eyes. Something inside her began its weeping all over again.

// 16528
//She closed the door.

// 16529
//Her fingers moved upon her wand, her mouth spoke words without thought, Charms
//and wards to seal the room against entry.

// 16530
//“Professor McGonagall,” Harry said in a strange voice, as if by rote, “do you
//have the rock? The rock that the Headmaster gave me? I should Transfigure it
//into a jewel again, since it did prove useful.”

// 16531
//Automatically her eyes went to the ring on Harry’s left pinky finger, noting
//the emptiness of the setting where the jewel should have been. “I shall mention
//it to the Headmaster,” her tongue replied.

// 16532
//“Is that a usual tactic, by the way?” Harry said, voice still odd. “Carrying
//something large Transfigured into something small to use as a weapon? Or is
//that a usual exercise for Transfiguration practice?”

// 16533
//Distantly, she shook her head.

// 16534
//“Well, let’s go, then.”

// 16535
//“I have -” her voice stopped. “I’m afraid I have something else which I must
//do, now. Will you be all right on your own, and will you promise to go to the
//Great Hall directly and eat something, Mr. Potter?”

// 16536
//The boy promised (barring exceptional and unforeseen circumstances, a clause
//with which she did not argue) and then walked out of the room.

// 16537
//What lay ahead of her… would be no easier, certainly, and might well be harder.

// 16538
//Minerva walked to her office at a swift pace; not slowly, for that would have
//been a discourtesy.

// 16539
//Professor McGonagall opened the door to her office.

// 16540
//“Madam Granger,” her voice said, “Mr. Granger, I am so terribly sorry for -”